8 Types of Artist Every Artist Knows
The Insanely Productive Artist
A somewhat rare breed, the productive artist is more machine than human, producing an insane amount of work in any given week and throwing most of it away and starting over. Doesn’t know the meaning of sleep and has no patience for people who do. They’ve written three screenplays already this month and plan to write 40 poems before the sun rises, so take your moping somewhere else, they’re busy.
The Artist Who’s Not an Artist
They are studying at an Art school and have the stereotypical artist aesthetic. They suffer from insomnia and chain smoke American Spirits. They often quote Beckett and Bukowski, but never actually write anything themselves. Still, they have embodied the artist image so well that no one ever notices their lack of productivity and their friends excuse their thinly veiled pretentiousness on the grounds that they’ll eventually come to themselves and go back to school for Accounting.
The “I Have to Be Inspired” Artist
This artist usually only produces every once in a while, but when they do, their art is magnificent. They often feel like an imposter or amateur for their inability to create unless the mood strikes, and therefore have an endless well of insecurity that no amount of compliments can fill. Envious of the insanely productive artist, the “I have to be inspired artist” takes comfort in thinking that anyone who produces so much work so quickly cannot possibly be producing quality, and therefore they shouldn’t feel so bad. They do though, and will fall in to a black depression for weeks just thinking about it.
The Legacy Artist
The Legacy artist never particularly planned on being an artist because they never particularly planned to do anything. They were born into a family of pre-established artists, making stepping in to the world of art and creativity merely an act of continuing the family business. They are pretty blasé about the fact that they have a career in the arts—the dream of so many—and casually mention that they don’t care about it that much and would happily work in an office or a warehouse or something, but they have to shoot this film, so they can’t.
The Scatterbrained Artist
Doesn’t own a car, consistently locks themselves out of their apartment, is late to everything, has stood you up at least twice, but you still make plans with them because they are so cool. Everything they own is splattered with paint and coated in dust. They often forget to feed themselves and never have any money. Their best friend is often a cat, sometimes a small exotic animal that runs freely around their house.
The Depressed Artist
May hold down a day job, but isn’t happy about it. Only owns clothes in various shades of black. Has 3 friends who must come to their house if they want to hang out cause otherwise it’s not happening. Feels accomplished if they get up before 1pm. Often makes dark jokes about suicide and chuckles sarcastically while everyone else in the room grows increasingly more uncomfortable.
The Closeted Artist
The closeted artist is insanely talented, but very few people know. Usually found in offices or banks, the closeted artist would die of embarrassment if their secret were exposed. Usually has a well-meaning friend who stumbled on to their brilliance and feels responsible for making sure the world knows about the amazing art their closeted artist friend makes.
The Intellectual Artist
Spends more time theorizing about art than actually creating any. Constantly tormented by the question, “Yes, but what does it mean?” Drinks red wine like it’s oxygen and enjoys indie films. Has plans to write a symphony using the Fibonacci sequence. Probably better suited as a Professor than an artist, but don’t tell them that.
