29 Life Lessons in 29 Years
As turning 30 looms ever closer, I find myself reflecting over my lessons learned in life. Particularly in my 20s, the decade where so much change and growth happens as we’re tossed in to the midst of adult life for the first time.
Those who have already traversed past the age of 30 tell me that the 30s and 40 are awesome; they say they know who they are, feel comfortable in their skin, and care less what others think of them.
As I think back over the various struggles, passions, set-backs, and heartaches of my young adulthood, I’ve curated a list of 29 life lessons I’ve learned over the past 29 years.
Experience is not something that can be taught and we each have our own path to tread. But if any of the hard-won wisdom I’ve gained can be of help, I hope you’ll take the gold and leave the rest.
29 Life Lessons:
1. Just because you’re comfortable saying it doesn’t mean it needs to be said.
2. It’s possible to feel lonely even if you prefer being alone.
3. Some loves aren’t meant to stick. Let them go.
4. Not all that’s true is beautiful, and not all that’s beautiful is true.
5. Books remains one of the purest, simplest and most exquisite joys of life.
6. It’s impossible to have a life without problems, so strive to have good problems and choose the specific kind of suffering you want to endure.
7. You are only ever one decision away from a radically different life.
8. The past will lose its hold on you if you re-frame the way you think about it. There are many perspectives from which to perceive the same set of data. Experiment with a different one and you’ll be amazed at what loses power over you.
9. Don’t fight your feelings. Allow them to break over you and then let them go.
10. Actively listen when people speak to you and pay attention to their faces. Their eyes will tell you more than their words will.
11. You can say no. In any circumstance. If you are uncomfortable, unsure, or unwilling, you can say no. Being polite is not worth the stain on your dignity, soul, and self-esteem of being coerced, manipulated, or used. It’s your right to refuse.
12. Read as much as you can because books have a transformative power that will enable you to grow in to your full potential faster than nearly anything else.
13. Betting on yourself is always worth the risk.
14. If the only reasons you’re not attempting something you want is because it’s hard or you’re afraid, know that those aren’t good reasons, and you should do it anyway.
15. When you start drowning in bitterness, come up for air.
16. Most people don’t deserve all that you are, so don’t give it to them. Trust people up to the level they have earned and no more. This may mean only 1 person in all your life has earned the right to know all that you are, and that’s okay.
17. Fault and responsibility are not the same thing. You can be handed a set of circumstances that aren’t your fault, but you’re nevertheless responsible for.
18. No one can give you a reason to live. You have to find it in yourself.
19. Don’t underestimate the cumulative effect. If you do the tiniest thing but you do it every day, the combined results will be impressively massive.
20. There aren’t actually any set rules for how you can do this life thing. The one’s you’ve been living by are limits you gave yourself and they can be changed at any time.
21. Emotions are neither true nor false and therefore should not be handled as if they are truth propositions.
22. If your mind assaults you with self-doubts and negatives about yourself, ask it to prove it. Offer counter-examples until it runs out of things to say. It will. And eventually the voice of the positive counter-point will be all that you hear.
23. If you don’t take action, move, and speak, the Universe that lives inside of you will die with you and no one will ever know the depths of what you are.
24. If the creative muses have nudged you to say something, it’s very important that you say it. The world needs your creation, and even if it doesn’t, you do.
25. You are living someone’s dream.
26. You MUST be verbally expressive with how you feel, or no one will ever know how you feel. Don’t assume they know. Spell it out for them.
27. If you don’t get something you really wanted, trust that it wasn’t right and let it go. Torturing yourself over the loss keeps you from building your empire, and once you have, you’ll see how you never could have been victorious if the thing you wanted then was in your life holding you back.
28. Values often change, and that’s okay. When your values change, your goals will too. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means you’ve grown. Your values solidified and you have a more accurate understanding of what will actually make you happy now. Allow yourself to evolve.
29. Enjoy what you can. Love who’s around. Be better today than you were yesterday. Make music, make love, make Art, make tea, and be patient when you’re suffering. There’s light on the other side.
